Why being ‘selfish’ is good for your baby…


You have just found out you are pregnant and you are exhausted, you feel sick, your boobs hurt, everything seems like much more of a struggle than it did a few weeks ago (when you didn’t realise you were pregnant!). Sound familiar?  In fact there are many stages during pregnancy when some of us feel pretty rotten, either physically or mentally, yet we still find it hard to be ‘selfish’ and take care of ourselves. Pregnancy increases your blood volume, heart rate and weight as well as putting more stress and strain on your ligaments, muscles and joints- that coupled with the general stresses and strains of life, it’s no surprise that some of us may find pregnancy a challenge.

Being ‘selfish’ doesn’t come easy to women, I find. Most of us feel the need to just keep going and put our needs last.

I was mulling over this very idea just the other day when I was lounging around the side of a pool with my husband wearing a crisp, clean (no baby vom, poo, wee or sticky hands) white dressing gown at a local 4* hotel and spa…If I made that sound like it was part of everyday life, I can reassure you it is not. Like everyone I know, I have a busy life! I have 3 children, 1 of which is still a baby and is currently going though a ‘challenging sleeping phase’- I also run my own business, have the aforementioned husband, a house to make sure is relatively hygienic, close family and friendships to nurture and, well, endless responsibilities…you get the picture! So this break away was a rarity and was to celebrate my husband’s 40th birthday.

I sat around the pool in the warmth almost drooling from the sense of relaxation, calm and just sheer lack of not having to do anything when it dawned on me then how much we all need some time out. After just 24 hours away from the responsibilities of life, I came back rejuvenated and ready to roll! (Thanks to Mum and Dad for taking care of the kids!).

There is (almost) NEVER a more important time for you to take of yourself than when you are pregnant. Creating harmony and as much calm around you is a must for you  and your baby.

Ok- so you might not have access to a 4* spa or 24 hours to spare but setting aside just 20 minutes a day can have significant health benefits for both of you.

You don’t have 20 minutes?


Everyone has 10! I am the Queen of ‘I don’t have enough time to do that’ and even I have 10 minutes.

So here are a few ideas for bringing some calm and relaxation into your life, no matter how long you have to spare.

* a home yoga session- if you need to you can download some great FREE apps with short workouts suitable for you during your pregnancy.

* a walk in nature- ALONE! Not a trip to the park with however many kids you already have or a walk around your housing estate breathing in car fumes and hearing your neighbours shouting at each other. An actual walk in nature where you can talk to the trees and flowers…if you want.

* a journal or diary- write to your baby, use the time to soulfully connect with your unborn child. That’s not a joke!!  Your baby has thoughts, feelings, emotions and can recognise your voice by 27 weeks so it’s fair to say your baby needs you to connect with him or her. Spending time doing that will benefit you both.

* a mediation session- again you can download apps to help you with this if you need to. No need for ommmming or bell ringing, just silence or lulling music is fine.

* listen to a relaxation track- teach your mind and body how to unwind…ah bliss.

* spend some time being mindful- be totally present in the moment. Don’t worry about what has just happened or what is going to happen just…be.

* learn EFT- a favourite of mine and a technique which you can use to release any anxieties or fears and become calmer. It involves tapping on different parts of your body to reconnect the flow of energy.

* a morning routine- breathe deeply, stretch, meditate, tap, whatever you like before you get out of bed- it helps you begin your day on a calm positive note.

You don’t need to do all of those- just pick one and be consistent with it.

By that I mean do it every day.

When you feel ready, increase the length of time you do it for and work up to that 20 minute or 30 minute mark.

So here is the WHY bit…

Spending time in relaxation improves  your sense of well- being, so you feel better!

It will help you sleep!

It can reduce aches and pains by relieving muscle tension.

It can help to reduce your blood pressure.

And many more wonderful things!!

When you relax, unwind and take care of yourself you release endorphins which make you feel calm, content and happy. Because there is no barrier to the placenta, the hormones you are releasing (endorphins) will be passed through to baby. This makes baby feel calm, content and happy. If baby is exposed to these hormones regularly it will go towards producing a calm, content, happy baby!

Mums who do HypnoBirthing during their pregnancy, spend time listening to, reciting or reading positive birth affirmations everyday. They listen to a relaxation track every single day as well. They spend time practicing their breathing- daily. Most mums will also practice other relaxation techniques like ‘deepeners’ or massage in preparation for labour.

All of this means that these mums are spending significant time relaxing and releasing endorphins and other lovely, happy hormones. So it’s possible that HypnoBirthers have more enjoyable pregnancies, easier more comfortable labours (we will go into this in another blog) and calmer babies who are better sleepers!

If that is he case…why wouldn’t you be ‘selfish’ during your pregnancy?!!

If you want to find out more about having a relaxed, enjoyable pregnancy, a calm comfortable birth and a content baby, book a FREE 30 minute consultation with me here via my website.