Dear Midwife
I know your job is a labour of love to you. I know you chose this path because you are a supporter, a nurturer and you care deeply about women, their babies and their birth experiences.
I know you do all you can to ensure that all the women under your care have healthy pregnancies, healthy babies and positive experiences.
I know you take pride in increasing women’s confidence in their bodies and ensuring that they are informed about the birthing process.
I know you share with each woman the options they have during their pregnancy and help them decide how to birth whether low risk or high risk.
I understand all this and I thank you for it.
At least, this is what I want you to do for women.
Today you dented the confidence of someone who, 2 months ago had very little belief in her body and her ability to calmly birth her baby.
Today you knocked the faith of someone who, 2 months ago didn’t think she could give birth without drugs and intervention.
Today you made a grown woman, with a responsible job, husband, home, car feel inadequate and naive.
Today, with one comment you opened up an old wound which she had worked very hard to close.
This woman, who has a heart, a soul, a mind was treated like a child with no regard for the repercussions of your words.
Your choice of tone and words left her doubting HER choices.
Please understand the position of responsibility you have. Each word you say leaves an imprint on her.
Please understand that there are some things that you do not have adequate knowledge of to dismiss or dumb down.
The next woman who excitedly reveals to you her plans for labour, reveals how happy, calm and motivated she is to really experience childbirth, tells you how much time and effort she has put into preparing for the best possible experience for her and her baby… Please think before you respond. Think before you tell her she is wrong to feel that way.
From someone who has enjoyed childbirth, felt the elation of birth without drugs, felt the awesomeness of my body doing what nature intended, I can tell you that you are wrong.
Wrong to dismiss our method of birth.
Wrong to criticise our preparation.
And further more wrong to even comment on something so negatively that you quite obviously know nothing about.
So, I will help my client close that wound you have opened, I will help her build her confidence back up. She will once again become confident, empowered and positive.
And she will one day soon know that you were wrong and she was right.